T I M E
by Laugh.Away
Summary: Then again, for the hundredth time, rivulets of tears rolled down his cheeks, leaving a wet trail on his cheeks, and again for the thousandth time, he wishes that Midorima could just suddenly appear beside him. -And by the time life ends, everything else ends; our adventures, dreams, fairy tales... everything. Everything. Everything except love.-
1. The Time Bomb

DISCLAIMER : I DO NOT OWN KUROKO NO BASUKE

**-T I M E-**

* * *

**- One Wish -**

If I could have just one wish,

I would wish to wake up everyday

to the sound of your breath on my neck,

the warmth of your lips on my cheek,

the touch of your fingers on my skin,

...and the feel of your heart beating with mine...

Knowing that I could never find that feeling

with anyone other than you.

~Jade Peacock

* * *

**I. The Time Bomb  
**

_Tick... tack... tick... tack..._

Everything between us used to be like a roller coaster ride. It went fast, really fast. It went in a blink of an eye. But it was smooth and nothing seem to be in our way, or at least, not yet. We could just scream out our feelings in the middle of the way, and the other would just accept it. At the end of the ride, everything would be fine. Neither a single scratch nor a pale face was seen. And then history would just repeat itself.

_Tick... tack... tick... tack..._

We have shared a lot of things in our life.

_Tick..._

Like warm hugs...

_Tack..._

or maybe stories...

_Tick..._

and even kisses.

_Tack..._

But life is a time bomb.

_Tick..._

Except for the fact that we don't know when it will explode.

_Tack..._

It can happen in the next 30 years,

_Tick..._

or probably next year,

_Tack..._

next month,

_Tick..._

next week...

_Tack..._

tomorrow...

_Tick..._

or even now.

_Tack._

And by the time life ends, everything else ends; our adventures, dreams, fairy tales... everything. _Everything_.

Everything except love.

* * *

"Cancer is in the 1st position today! Congratulations! Your relationships with just about everyone - friends, lovers, children, colleagues, and even strangers - should be smooth, warm, and supportive today, Cancer. Feelings are easily expressed, although more on a subtle than a verbal level. New business opportunities may open up through contact with new and interesting people. Social events and group activities should therefore contribute more to your personal growth and emotional well-being than they usually do. Make the most of them! And your lucky item today is a Matryoshka! Have a good day, Cancers! May luck be on your side!"

Takao quickly turned off the television after watching a replay of this morning's Oha Asa, which has now become his daily habit instead of Midorima's. Heaving a mournful sigh, he glanced at the clock, tediously ticking its way through time, slowly but steady and surely.

_**12 o' clock**_

Takao quickly rose from his seat and grabbed his wallet, phone and his apartment keys. He went to grab one of his mother's antiques which were left in his place, a matryoshka that his parents had brought home from Russia.

Takao cycled down the road, a paper bag hung from the right bicycle handle with Midorima's lucky item sitting silently inside. Unlike yesterday, the heat was hypnotic and it stung his skin. Beads of sweat started trickling down his forehead which made his hair stick to his forehead and his nape.

On days like this, he would be walking together with his beloved green haired ace, either going for a little date or going to the basketball court to play for a bit. Then they would just sit silently on the park bench. Takao would place his head against his lover's broad shoulder and they would just enjoy each other's presence.

"_Nee, Shin chan," Takao said one day as he tilted his head up to get a good view of his lover's face. _

"_Hn?"_

"_Have you ever imagined what it will be like in future?" Takao asked, this time he sat straight beside Midorima and took his hand._

"_What do you mean, Takao?" Midorima, who had also started stroking Takao's hand, asked back._

"_Like we'll be living together, have our own place, see our beloved son and daughter run around the house..." Takao trailled off and smiled when he saw Midorima's cheeks started to get tinted with a shade of pink._

"_That sounds..." Midorima paused, pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and continued, "nice."_

And then this happened.

Things are different now, everything had turned 180 degrees and it was a painful, sudden parting. And just like torn paper, things would never go back to how it would usually be; the way Takao liked it. It didn't matter how much he tried or how much effort he put in, things just don't work anymore. He would wake up every morning to expect his lover's face right beside him, or he would wait for him every single night to arrive home from work, only to be slapped hard by reality that Midorima was no longer there, and that he would never be there. Ever again.

He continued cycling along the road, passing by familiar buildings, seeing the usual activities, hearing the same chatters from the pedetrians, and smelling the normal delicious scent from the ramen shop. But something was different, and he's not getting used to it at all. It's been almost a year and he's still not used to it.

Sometimes, he would pretend that his Shin chan is sitting inside his rickshaw, holding Kerosuke or whatever his lucky item is on that day and drinking his favourite red bean soup while he rode the bicycle. Takao would then try to talk to him, ask him questions or start to blabber nonsense, and would always end up holding his tears back while gritting his teeth and clenching his fists till his knuckles turned white.

Having parked his bicycle outside the cemetery building, like he always does every Saturday, Takao stood in front of a grave stone, with Midorima's name carefully engraved on it. He gazed longingly at it and he stood there for so long, long enough to be able to feel his presence.

"Shin chan..." he whispered to himself as he slowly reached out to touch the stone. He dragged his hand across, hoping, or rather, wanting, dying, to be able to feel Midorima's warmth once again. But the stone, having been sun bathed since this morning, greeted him with a stinging touch at the tip of his fingers, a touch that could have burned his fingers, though still incomparable to the pain he feels. He quickly retracted his hand, disappointed, and placed the lucky item beside his grave.

"Here's your lucky item Shin chan."

Silence. But Takao expected that coming. Then again, for the hundredth time, rivulets of tears rolled down his cheeks, leaving a wet trail on his cheeks, and again for the thousandth time, he wishes that Midorima could just suddenly appear beside him. How he wishes that things could go back to the way it used to be. How he wishes that he could just turn back time. If only it was as easy as changing the hands of the clock, turning its knob at the backside, adjusting it to your liking...

* * *

My first Kuroko no Basuke fic! and my first time writing a guyXguy pair too! xD I really really really really love this couple! They're just too cute! xD

Don't forget to leave reviews! xD

Thank you so much for taking your time to read this! xD

Chapter 2 will be coming up soon! xD hopefully... xD


	2. The Time Machine

**II. TIME MACHINE  
**

People always say it's never too late. They always say that we will get a second chance, because everyone deserves it. But it is really true? If it is, I guess it doesn't apply to me. Either that, or I am one out of all the hundreds and thousands of people out there who don't deserve it.

Maybe I should have been more thankful that he entered my life. Maybe I should be thankful that I met him instead of someone else. Or maybe it'd be better if I didn't meet him at all, for I will not have to go through the pain of love and all the sacrifices. Or maybe I'm just not grateful for what I already have. I just don't remember those times when things seem to be perfect.

And another thing. Regret. It's been haunting my whole life, like a soul out of its grave, ever since the moment he died. I always find myself blaming this stupid self for his death, I always find myself a hindrance to him, I always find myself saying _if I hadn't done this_, or _if I hadn't did that.. then things would never wind up this way_, or _I should have done this instead..._ but am I really the one to blame? After all, his death wasn't a sacrifice, it wasn't an accident from the trivial things I do everyday, it wasn't because he wanted to either.

* * *

It wasn't destiny, it wasn't fate either, but Takao's own pair of legs have brought him back here to this evergreen field, the place where he had first confessed to Midorima. _Don't remind me..._ Takao thought to himself as he brought his hands up to rub his temples. He then sat down on the ground, feeling the soft grass brush against his hands every time the zephyr blew past him.

"_Shin chan, this might be sudden but... there is something I need to tell you," Takao said, ten years back when they were still in the second year of high school. _

"_What is it?" Midorima asked back, turning his head to face Takao while adjusting his glasses._

_It was a silent and peaceful night, and the stars were so bright that it made Takao wanted to count them over and over again, though he knew he'd end up losing count of them._

_He scooted closer to Midorima and brought his hand to touch Midorima's, but was a little bit disappointed when he felt his tapped fingers. He chuckled to himself and said, "Sometimes, I wish you would take those tapes off for me."_

"_What? Is that what you wanted to say?" Midorima asked back. Surprised, he had quickly retracted his hand the moment those words fell out of Takao's mouth._

_Takao let out another chuckle. "No, no," he said while waving his hand, trying to convince Midorima that there was something else. "It is something that I wanted you to know," Takao paused for awhile and then continued, "You might not like it, so I won't expect any reply. Well, I mean, I just wanted you to know. I don't want to hold any regrets in case I never get to tell you this." Takao then shifted his gaze back to the sky and smiled._

_Midorima threw him a confused look and said, "So, what is it? How bad can it be anyways? It's not like you murdered one of my family members and decided to hide it away from me right?"_

"_Yeah, true," Takao said. "But I'll just remind you that it might be bad."_

_Midorima just stayed silent and played with his lucky item, a stuffed bear._

_Takao took a deep breath. He had prepared himself for the worst. He had known the consequences, but he thought he should go for it. _

"_Shin chan- no. Shintarou, I love you." _

"_Huh?" Midorima tilted his head, confused. "As teammates of course we need to love one another-"_

"_No, Shintarou. I mean it. I love you."_

_Then there was silence. Midorima had stopped playing with his stuffed bear. He froze in place, his muscles refused to move. He didn't know what to do. **What did you just say, Takao? What- Did I hear it right?** It was so silent that he could feel his heart slamming against his ribcage, getting faster by the second._

_When Takao didn't hear any response from Midorima, he let out a nervous laugh, and said, "It's really ridiculous isn't it? For a guy to like another guy? I must be really crazy." He was grateful that he could hide the glowing hue of embarrassment spread across his cheeks from Midorima. If Midorima were to reject him, at least Midorima wouldn't be able to see his face, who would be trying so hard to hold back his tears._

_It was getting even darker and Takao could only see the outline of Midorima's huge figure. Midorima hadn't move muscle, which made Takao assume that he had been rejected. Takao couldn't help it that the tears were slowly rolling down his cheeks, at least he had the courage to tell him, at least he got to be honest with his feelings._

"_I'm sorry, Shin chan. I-" Takao was at a loss for words. He didn't know what to say. **I shall take my leave? Or maybe. Sorry I was being stupid and... **Takao shook his head and cursed to himself. **Shit! Shit! Shit! What do I do now? Shin chan will hate me forever!**_

"_I was wrong, Shin chan. I'm really sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have told you that. But I don't know if I should regret my decision, because you'll grow to hate me, or if I should not because I finally got to tell you, " Takao said. His hands started to tremble in fear, but he kept speaking. He didn't want to leave Midorima just hanging there. "I'm sorry I can't really say anything worth it. My mind's in a real mess right now. I should just-" _

_Then this happened. Takao blinked several times before he could register what was happening. He felt warmth enveloping him, but he didn't know where it came from. It took him a few seconds before he could realized that it was Midorima hugging him. His Midorima. His Shin chan. _

"_Wha-" Takao was totally taken aback by Midorima's actions. He cheeks started to burn and he just couldn't stay still. "Shin chan, I-"_

"_Don't get the wrong idea," Midorima finally said, stroking Takao's back gently. "I'm just trying my best to comfort you."_

_**You're such a tsundere**,Takao thought as he smiled to himself. Takao began to relax in Midorima's arms and circled his arms around Midorima as well. Though Midorima hadn't tell him anything, he felt like he was in seventh heaven. He wasn't so sure why but something told him that things were going to end well._

_Midorima was the first one to pull back from the embrace. He then brought his hand up to Takao's face to wipe the tears that hadn't dried up from awhile ago. "Why are you crying?" Midorima asked, "I haven't even said anything yet."_

_Takao felt dazzled. His Shin chan who was tsundere by nature, was acting so differently. **Did something just hit his head? **_

"_I like- no. I love you too," Midorima finally said, and continued, "Kazunari." He quickly adjusted his glasses out of embarrassment. "Not that I mean anything-"_

_Takao blinked for another few times and said, "EHH? Really?" Takao got too excited that he brought his face close to Midorima's, so close that their noses could have touched._

_Midorima's face suddenly heated up. "Don't get too close, you idiot! It's feels uncomfortable!" Midorima adjusted his glasses for the hundredth time as he leaned to the other side. "And what are you getting so excited for?"_

_Takao bursted into tears again, but this time it was tears of happiness. If someone were to ask about the best moment of his life, it wouldn't be his first field trip as a kid, or his first time touching a basketball, but it would definitely be this one. _

"_Of course I'm excited!" Takao said, bringing his face even closer to Midorima that Midorima had to lean even more, almost touching the ground._

"_Oi Takao! Move-" _

"_How can I not be excited when you just accepted me into your life?" Takao said, this time his cheeks started to become drenched with his overflowing tears. "And you just called me by my name! How can-" Takao could no longer hold back his joy and happiness anymore, he was crying so badly that he couldn't even bring his words out properly or at least clear enough for Midorima to understand. _

_'Oi Takao, why are you-" Midorima had tried to push Takao back, but Takao refuse to budge. Right now, Takao was hovering on top of Midorima, propped by his hands and knees and Midorima was completely lying down on the soft grass, trapped by Takao's hand on both sides._

"_I- I-."_

"_Takao stop crying please, your tears are falling on my face, nanodayo!" Slightly irritated by Takao, Midorima started wiping away Takao's tears off his face. _

"_But I'm so happy!" _

"_I know! I'm really happy too!" Midorima said and raised his hands to wipe away Takao's tears and at that very moment, Takao's tears had stopped falling. _

"_Shin... chan?"_

"_I've accepted you into my life since a long time ago. I just... didn't have the courage to say it," Midorima said, and his gaze met Takao's, whose face was clearly masked in shock. "That's why I'm really happy you said that, Takao." _

_Takao pouted at Midorima and said, "You should've told me. I didn't say it because you didn't look like you were... you know... gay."_

_Midorima's jaw dropped open, he didn't expect Takao to say that. Wait, no- if it's Takao and his irrational thoughts, then he should have expected that. "Shut up! I didn't know that you were gay either!"_

Takao smiled as he reminisced. But it soon turned into a gloomy, sorrowful expression, just like a flickering candle that was suddenly blown away. He wanted to cry so bad, but he couldn't. He wanted to shout his name- _Shintarou, Shintarou, Shintarou, _but nothing fell out of his tongue, because he knew it was of no use, he knew that it would never happen twice, not even in a second life.

If only I could see him one more time... just one last time...

* * *

People always say it's never too late. They always say that we will get a second chance, because everyone deserves it. But it is really true? If it is, I guess it doesn't apply to me. Either that, or I am one out of all the hundreds and thousands of people out there who don't deserve it. Well, yeah. I guess I am one of them.

* * *

I apologize for any grammatical errors and spelling mistakes!

Thank you so so so much for reading this! I really appreciate it! xD


End file.
